Napoleon

Is it okay to say "see you soon" to someone you have no intentions of ever seeing again? Is it worse to give someone false hope, or to tell the man who just paid for sushi dinner that he doesn't stand a chance? It isn't my fault that he seemed much taller in his pictures.

For his own protection, I'll call him Napoleon...not because he was cocky, arrogant and/or planning on overtaking half of Eastern Europe, but because he was short as hell. I could have rolled up for our date in a wheelchair and potentially could still have been gazing into his eyes. No offense of course to people in wheelchairs, don't go all special olympics justice coalition on me just yet. But this guy was short, and I'm not out there looking to date the NBA but it would be nice if I wasn't walking with a slouch just so Napo' here didn't feel inferior to all 5'4" of me.

To his defense, he was very nice. He also laughed at my jokes and made several meager attempts to throw in a few of his own. Unfortunately when he laughed at my jokes my eyes were barreling right towards the dental accident on his bottom jaw. Those teeth were a mess! The guy also vehementaly hated guys with muscles and told me so at least six times during our meal. He then proceeded to tell me a bathroom joke while I was scarfing down my spicy tuna roll. Ugh. Thanks, bro.

So the awkward walk back to the train station begins, followed by the awkward hug (he quite obviously had planned on leaning in for a smooch) and the boldly stated "see you soon." He has since texted me an estimated fifteen times, three of which were him asking me if I had a good time. Winner.

What have we learned this week? Pictures can be deceiving yes, but so can that little column where you fill in your height. If you are not 6'0" don't say you're 6'0" unless this is an ad for datemeimblindandhavenohands.com.

-Ginger